Recently news and social media has been abuzz with the shocking story of #BoisLockerRoom - an Instagram chat group of mostly teenage boys engaged in a host of illegal and detrimental activities against school girls they studied with or knew. (News Link). But it's not just this incidence, its a reminder of how things really are in youth of our times.

The first typical reaction to such kind of news, from most of us anyway, is that of anger and allegations of poor brought up towards the child and the parent. But in this process we forget that there are many other reasons for the child to have developed such a mindset and we, being part of the society, are responsible in some way as well. 

Parents, teachers, relatives, friends and environment - all have an important role to play in a child's development during the formative years. The first step towards this would be accepting our short comings before counselling the child. Society and culture has been focusing on the girl child as being the suppressed gender and we take extra efforts in raising them by setting deadlines to return home, influencing choices of the friends they make, open discussions about reaching puberty and educating them on sex when the time arrives. Mothers play a pivotal role in these extra efforts but we need to change the mindset right from there itself since it’s a job for both parents to contribute in their child's developmental phase. Thankfully, we have improved on the care we take of our girls but what about our boys? 

We do set the same deadlines to return or influencing their choices while making friends but, for whatever reason, we miss out on discussing and educating them about the physical and mental changes they are going through while attaining puberty and topics related to sex education. Traditionally our society's framework doesn’t expect parents to discuss these critical matters with their sons openly. Girls are lucky in this regard as mothers and daughters (often) share a bond and don’t have any inhibitions while discussing such issues with each other. Boys, no matter how close they are to their mothers, will always have a resistance in asking them queries related to physical changes and needs. Its high time for fathers to step in and for mothers to break the ice with their sons too.

For a parent, whether their child is a girl or a boy, love is same and unconditional - but we need to bring equality in the way we treat both during their formative years as well. The solution is right at home, as they say "A child learns more by observing". The relationship between the husband and wife is the stepping stone for a child to make a mental image about the rights, position and respect of the opposite gender. As professionals, we all have come to accept the concept that habits can be developed in 21 days, same way we can also mold the thought process of the child in a short period of time and then sustain it with constant, regular communication. Building ice breakers with your child to make them comfortable and have discussions with you, on any topic in this world, is the most important need of the hour as there is no safer place for a child to sound check that with their parents. 

In fact it is so important that parents should seek third party intervention to get the conversation going instead of fidgeting about how to go about it.

As I keep saying over an over again, Start Talking, Stop Worrying.